Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Looking for a bigger club

Thanks for everyone's rockin support of my Tri. Part of me is still in the clouds. I didn't have too much problem recovering (does that mean I didn't push enough?) After the tri, I did a whirlwind tour on both sides of the family. I ran on Saturday in Glen Ellyn -- 5 miles with my SIL -- yes, after the snow storm in Chicagoland. It was possibly the worst run of my life. At least 5 inches of thick crusty snow on a trail. I had to go SO slow, the numbers were in the 14's, people, and mainly because of it beating me up physically, the cardiovascular was fine. At least I have that. My SIL ran out and backs (from me) and did 6 to my 5 but at least I did some miles. It was also gorgeous to see the heavy snow over everything.


I'm back from the whirlwind tour, but I haven't caught up on blogs and I've been really blue. Running and work are great. Some personal things seem to be a mess right now. When I started this blog, I was hoping for the positivity and energizer bunni-ness of my running attitude to spill over into my personal life. I mean really, someone who runs in the 14's (okay, okay, I did do 3 miles in the 10's, but still, I'm PAINFULLY slow) HAS to remain positive or they would quit. How is it that I continue to spring back from bad runs, back of the back of the pack races, stupid mistakes, being passed by the only other runner on the course? How do I keep coming back for more with a big energizer bunny spirit and lipstick smile?



Well, it's my club (my attitude), of course. I know this. Apparently, this does not yet translate so easily to the rest of my life like I had hoped. I'm working on it. Had a great chat with a friend today and also took Anthony Robbins out for a run with me. No one speaks to me like Anthony. Tears came for awhile after mile 2 but I straightened up. This was really hard emotionally and physically.

5.3 miles ~ 1:07 ~ 12:40 pace


I think I need a bigger club...

37 comments:

Viv said...

Aww, Nanc I am sorry you are going through some hard times. I hope you can see some light on things soon. You hold a special place in my blogger heart :-) ((HUGS))
You are always so positive and deserve positive happy things to come your way always!

Sonia said...

Can I be part of your club? You know being fast is not what's it all about... I'm a slow poke too, and I think that the most important thing is how it makes you feel not the numbers you get at the end of the run! Hang in there, you're doing so well, inspiring me to get my butt in gear for a tri!

Nat said...

Hang in there girl. Big Hugs from way up here in the land of snow. (Still. No I don't plan to make you run in it.)

Personal shit is hard. So if you need anything -- let me know. I'll help you whack the big club. :)

TriGirl Thea said...

Oh Nancy! I'm sorry you are going through such tough times at the moment. But for what its worth we're here and we feel for you.

As Margaret Atwood says "Don't let the *!"£$%^&*'s grind you down."

Mendy said...

I think Viv hit it on the nail. When I come to your blog, I know I'll be inspired in some way. You always share all these positive thoughts and ideas. I'll be part of your club in a heartbeat!

Whatever is going on personally, you'll beat it and know you have a huge support system right here.

((hugs))

E said...

I'm sorry to hear you are going through some rough times right now. We're here for you and giving you big hugs. :)

Marcy said...

(((BIG HUGS))) Oh Nanc I'm really sorry about the personal issues. With all the inspiration and good cheer you keep around here I'm SURE your karma will be paid in full soon enough ;D (even if it doesn't seem like it). If there is anything I can do, you know I'm here! Hit me with an e-mail (and yes that one was very nice LOL)

Tri+Umph said...

Nice job on toughing through the run, Nancy!

You'll pull through the tough times, and by that I clearly mean you'll ROCK ITS FACE OFF!

Lily on the Road said...

Oh Nanc;(((Hearts))), tough stuff, we are all a part of your club...:D

You know where I am, when you need ((hugs)), because of you I'm considering a tri in september...I NEED your grit and gall...!! You inspire whether you know it or not!

take all the time you need, we are always here for you!!

AddictedToEndorphins said...

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? Hang in there! Find something that makes you super happy and don't let go!
Hope it all works out for you:D

Bob A said...

I hate that you're feeling the blues. Nancy, you do so much to encourage other people -- not sure we thank you enough. I know it's not just the "14's" that are getting you down but a couple of thoughts flitted through my tired brain:

--> Fast is definitely relative. Each person is different. Your running is great.

--> You got to run in the snow. To me, that rocks. Running in the 14's and not falling sure beats running in the 10's and coming home all skinned up.

Hang in there.

Wes said...

It is so hard being inspired when you are so busy lifting everybody else up :-) Take some of us off your shoulders and suck up our enthusiasm for a while. {hugs}

Brianna said...

You ran through the snow. You ran THROUGH the SNOW! I haven't been outside to run in months, sticking to the safety and comfort of my whirring treadmill - and we only had 2 days of snow ALL winter. What's my excuse? I don't have the gusto and butt kickin' fortitude that you have. But, you do inspire me to bust out of my comfort zone!

The Laminator said...

Nancy you show such dedication to the sport (you ran in the snow for god-sakes...) you're a great runner in my book, even if i may be a teensy-weensy bit faster. Sorry to hear about your personal troubles, but I know you spread such good cheer around, it'll all work out for you and then some. Hang in there!

Jamie said...

I'm sorry to hear you are going through some not so great personal stuff. Big HUGS from me. And I'm hear for you (even if we have never met!) You are a strong woman and you will get through this. Plus you have a great support around you if you ever need some help.
nice work on getting out in the snow. you are hardcore I am from Chicago and didn't even do that!

Andrew is getting fit said...

Anthony has such faith in us.

Michelle said...

Hi Nancy, you know i can relate to your post here. The blues...i can write a book but...i keep on pushing because to me there is no other choice! So, my friend keep on pushing OK?
Michelle

ws said...

I heard that breaking shit really helps. From time to time we all need bigger clubs. I didn't know Anthony Robbins was a runner and that he was visiting Iowa this week - I hope you had him push the pace for the finish...

I'm glad everyone else is giving you hugs because I'm not so into the whole touching thing. Marcy should make up for me though.

Robert Barker said...

You have all the club you need. Just swing away. :)

Bill Carter said...

Hi Nancy

You may not know it or physically be aware of it, but I am giving you a hug all the way from Michigan. I hear you on the personal thing, because there is always some drama going on in my life.. a lot like yours. Thanks God I have running to take me to a place where I can feel nothing outside of the physical nature of moving through space. I am quite sure I would have been committed by now if not for my running.. and may still be in the near future.

BTW, slow is always a relative term and when you look at your times I think you move along quite nicely. Amy has already committed (there is that word again) to coming along for the ride in Boston. If you are willing, I would love for you to be there in spirit as we move along at what I hope to be around a 6:40 pace.. and I guarantee you no one will say we are slow on our trip from Hopkinton all the way to Boston.

Congrats again on your tri and just being such a great advocate for runners everywhere.

Midwest said...

HUG!!!!

And to add to what trigirl thea said, I quote the great David Sedaris: "When s#$% brings you down, just say ‘f%^& it,’ and eat yourself some motherf$#&ing candy."

jahowie said...

Keep your chin up. I'm really sorry that you are having some tough times. You've inspired me many times, and I know that you will continue to do so. :-)

P.O.M. said...

Amen sista. I'm posting all this bullshit about being positive becuase there are some very crappy things going on in my personal life and I'm trying to not fall apart.

Hang in there :)

J said...

Nancy, I love your club. I have borrowed it many times! You are one of the most inspiring, sweetest, tough-as-nails person that I know. You offer a lot to the running community and to all of us bloggers!

Everyone else is right, slow and fast are relative. You sure are faster than the person who sits on the couch. Sascha at http://fastrunningblog.com says calling yourself slow is an illness you should conquer, and you should refer to yourself as FAST no matter what you are! I agree, you have done a lot to be proud of! Lots of hugs your way!

Jess said...

I'm sorry you're having a hard time outside of running, but sooner or later some of the things you learn in running will translate into regular life. Or at least, running provides an outlet for things in life in which you don't have a big enough club.

I too have cried on many runs. In some ways, its therapeutic.

Chin up.

Single said...

Good luck with everything Nancy. Try not to beat yourself about feeling down--you know it will pass.

I'm sending you good thoughts.

Cranky

akshaye said...

I am sorry things are hard. Take care.. and no need for a bigger club. You've got all your hommies for backup!

Maddy said...

Awww.

Chin up Nancy!

Sorry to hear things are not going the way your would like right now.

I totally have your back!

J~Mom said...

Homies are here girl and we heart you! I have had a bit of the blues with my weight lately and I totally understand feeling a little out of whack. Keep beating back the blues with the club!! XOXOXO

teacherwoman said...

Hang in there girl. *hugs*. I went out for what should have been a 5 mile run tonight and cut it short at 4.41 miles... at a 13 minute pace! I was disgusted.

You are rockin' in my book! Keep it up. :)

Sarah Kathryn said...

Ah, this post totally resonated with me! It's not probably a surprise to you since you read my blog. I don't know if our problems are similar in nature but my guess is that they are similar in weight and frustration.

One thing I do when I'm having a hard time is go on a "gratitude run". The first one I ever did was 9/11/02. They were showing the playbacks of 9/11 on the TV and I felt so guilty getting on a treadmill and enjoying my life when so many were in pain. So I chose a treadmill that put my back to the TVs and ran for those who could not, those who had, and those who'd run IN but could not run OUT. (It sounds dramatic, but it was very, very helpful - after all, we were all in pain in some way that day!) It was a very comforting exercise, and I learned to do it when I'm in a bad spot. While I run I think of all the things I am grateful for - first that I have the choice to run and the capability, and head off from there. The deal I have with myself is they can be 20 minute miles, I can go for a 1/2 mile, I can walk... time, distance, effort, etc. don't matter. Those runs are the most cleansing and restoring for me. So maybe you can chalk up this run that's made you discouraged as a therapeutic one, rather than a "bad one". You went out clubbing, after all (brings new meaning to THAT term!! :)).

There's always going to be someone in front of you, and there is always going to be someone behind you. The very best part of this sport is that you are winning if you can improve, and you are improving in SPADES. You ARE fast - and you are getting faster. That's what this is ultimately all about!!

Greg Johnson said...

Hang in there Nancy and keep pressing toward the finish line. You are doing great and are an inspiration to many!

gaj

DawnB said...

Nancy hang in there girl, we have our good and bad days. look at me 11:40pm sitting at the computer and I complain i can't get up in the morning!!!
Nancy I hope you now you have the biggest club of all we are all your club memebers.

Stuart said...

Hang on in there, it's just like the climb on a roller coaster soon enough you're top out and be enjoying the downhill wooosh!

Nitmos said...

The hard times will pass. Keep on truckin'. Use the blog to vent a bit. Sometimes nice to get it all out.

Razz said...

hang in there! I know you'll get through it!

Anonymous said...

Good post.