Kicking Off the ONE POUND DECISION

I started blogging when I started running, and I fell in love with both. I was not a good runner, not even an average runner!!  However, life at the back of the pack brought out the best in me!  I'm not terribly used to being so bad at something, but it forced me to develop a persistence and positivity that suited me well.  I even ran through the pain of torn cartilage for several months.  I've had some issues trying to get through the injury, and two surgeries later, I'm still dealing with it.  I'm not running right now, but I decided I can stand to get the attitude back.

I have long been a fan of self-improvement, specifically, health-related behavior change and how to help patients find their motivation.  Just because I teach the stuff, doesn't mean I'm always good at it!  When I was a little more successful with my diet, I had a little trick called the "One Pound Decision."  Any decision could mean the difference of a pound on the scale tomorrow.  I realize this might be a bit of a stretch, but it helped me immensely in the moment. I've decided to reinstate the One Pound Decision through out my life. What could I accomplish if I made these decisions with... my husband, my house, my work, my diet, exercise?  I plan on having fun finding out!

Thanks to everyone who has followed me here and to those who have given me encouragement for the past several years.  I still miss running like crazy and miss the community, comradarie and creativity.  I wish I could say I was healed, but I am not.  I am deciding next steps on possibly a third surgery, but there is no reason I should have things on hold forever.  It may be a bumpy road back, but I'm going to give it a try! 

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Man, You People are Loyal

Thank you so much to everybody who didn't dump me!!

YYYYYYY

I remember now how much you all mean to me and how you've helped me to stay positive even when I am at the back of the pack. I've missed you all, even my nemesis. :D

I think you've inspired me to work on the blog. I have to migrate away from http and I need to migrate away from 26.2 as a goal, at least for now. I was driving and thinking about a lot of things, my life, you, my husband, my house, my weight (blah), the decisions I need to make, the actions I need to take and follow through on.......

An idea was born.

And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is a start! I have no idea if the migration is going to bring you all along or not. Hopefully it will. If not, I'll try to let you know some other way when it is complete.

I'm excited!!!

It's Been a Year...

and I'm guessing no one will even have this in reader any more. Oh well. I need to get a few things off my chest. I met with Amy and Art today, running buddies extraordinaire, and I decided I need to do something.

I had surgery in March of last year to fix torn cartilage, rehabbed all summer and did not really improve although I had some killer muscles in my legs. We started investigating things and decided I probably had a lot of scar tissue tethering in my hip. I had another surgery in December only to find out the tear was still there and the stitches were gone, and yes, scar tissue. After fixing it a second time, I was in heaven for about 10 days. Then all the pain came back. :( It isn't awful, but it seems to be always with me.

The latest, after another MRI, is that we think the plastic anchor of the stitch came loose and is sitting in my joint. We can't be sure, but he thinks that is what it is. A big piece of plastic in my joint!! I have to decide do I want him to go back in a third time or maybe send to his colleague in Vail to get his opinion. I am sick of this and you see why I am not blogging. I'm heavy, sedentary, and kind of a mess. I have nothing to say about running and no encouragement to give. I used to be Miss Encouraging, Miss Positive, Miss i don't care how bad I suck I still love running. I feel like that was someone else now. (see why I don't blog? I read old posts and I can't believe that was me. I love that me but I feel like I lost her...)

Still, after seeing Amy and Art, I felt a little encouraged. I really don't care if I have to have another surgery. I just want to be better. But maybe I could at least get back to some decent workouts. Amy had done a slow 9 and Art is working out like a fiend. Man, I miss them.

Trying to decide what to do with the blog. It is not going to be supported much longer so need to migrate to a blogspot. I used to the love the nonrunner thing, now I just hate it. :P and Nancy 26.2 is out of the picture. :( I'm still waiting for some inspiration... I guess I better think of something soon.

I miss you all tons and keep up with you on Facebook if you are there. I still am in awe of all your accomplishments. I feel like I know so many of you and you have been such good friends to me. Thanks for all the encouragement and hanging in there with me. Keep running as long as you can and enjoy every step.

A few days after surgery

Hey Everyone!! Thanks for checking in on me. It's been fun keeping up with people on Facebook but I've decided to do a post since I've been away so long.

My surgery was scheduled for March 6th but was delayed by 1 week due to the surgeon working on a trauma patient all night. It was an ugly phone call that morning as I had a lot of things ready to go (my mind being one of them) but I quickly decided whoever it was needed him more than I did (after a couple tears and some help from the Hub).

So I had arthroscopic surgery on my hip to repair the labral tear on the 13th. As it was explained to me, repairing this is a bit odd in that I am not a young athelete, but the surgeon wanted to do the repair to give me some stability for the Freakishly Flexible Joints. The repair is generally not done because there is little blood flow and it is difficult to heal. I'm finding that out.


if you follow the crescent that is the socket all the way out to the tip, you can see a white space that looks like the tip is cracked. that is the tear in the labrum.

I have a restrictive brace (6 wks) and crutches (3wks). I am about 12 days into that. I've had more pain than I expected or at least for longer. It is still bothersome to sit very long so I hang out a lot in bed with everything I need around me!! (books, mags, laptop, tv, phone, remote, movies, knitting, tray for food and drink, newspapers, purse for on-line purchasing - hee hee) (if anyone has fun websites to check out I'd love to get recommendations - nothing nasty please!) :D Actually nothing is very comfortable with the brace on all the time, but I am trying not to get too worked up about it. At least I can shower now!! I had to wait about 10 days until I got the stitches out. I just cleaned up and washed my hair in the sink. Weird, but I made it through that.

the brace. this will be the only time you will ever be granted a close up of my hips with no lipstick to bring your eye upward. the boobage will have to do. interestingly, that is my lair in the background. i can't for the life of me figure out how my crutches are clear over there. i haven't been cheating I must have slid to the egde of the bed and hopped into place but i don't remember doing it.

this is a picture of me showering...

what you can't see it? hee hee. jk.

I have never been so rested. Wow, 12 days mostly in bed. But, it has been the most comfy place so far and I have lots of stuff around me to do. I am reading 992 page novel, Pillars of the Earth. I never get time to read so this has been good! We did have poker last Friday and I made it down the steps and won the first game!!! (9 people, thankyouverymuch) We've had some dinners but mostly I hang out in the bedroom. One of the poker players nicknamed me Cyborg for all the metal. :D

That's about all for now. I still have a little trouble with blogs. Every time I see a run or read a race report all I can think to comment is Lucky You or I'm jealous or something preachy like ENJOY IT, at least you are running. I figure people would get tired of that so I am trying not to do that too much. I guess I have a ways to go on dealing with the not running but I'll get there. I did meet the Tri coach at our gym and she gave me her masters swim work outs so maybe I will get excited about that when it is time to get in the pool. I don't think I even start any rehab until 6 weeks.

I have knitted 4 scarves - they are an Easter Egg colors one with Fun Fur, a snow white fuzzy one, a ribbon one that is light and more for clothes accent than coat, and a big variegated brown and cream one for my mom. She picked out the colors. I didn't like it but it is what she ordered. My MIL thinks it looks like a stole (translation: dead animal). eeuuww.

The ribbon scarf up close. I haven't quite mastered good pictures of these like Running Knitter.

My boys tonight at bedtime. They've been great little helpers.

Freakishly Flexible 5k (FFFK) !!

Imagine my shock upon finding this!!!

I gasped, I laughed, I cried... you guys are so cool. USJogger set this up: a race in my honor!! I really don't know what to say. Thank you so much. I so wish I could run it with you. Go to his site for more details. I'm still cracking up that he used that picture and made a logo.

I am hanging in there. My surgery is March 6th. Thank you all so much for your prayers and kind words. All the support is really helping me.

I can't wait to see the outcome of FFFK.

There's Good News and Bad News

Alternate titles for this post that I considered:

• I Never Should Have Chosen That Damn Name - Nonrunner Nancy
• Trust Me, Freakishly Flexible is so NOT a Good Thing
• I'm Mourning 13 Minute Miles
• I'm a Freak
• Only Read This if You Need to Feel Better About Your Situation Otherwise It's Too Much of a Downer and Way Too Long

Well, now, I really have some answers. I never wanted to be one of those people that posted every ache and pain and complaint and that is why I have disappeared somewhat. I wanted to be fun and funny, creative, motivational (if not fast). But the answers are none of those things.

I DO have a torn labrum (the cartilage in my hip) and it probably CAN be fixed. However the sit-i-ation is more complicated. This injury likely WAS caused from running, somewhere around the 6 mile point. I am so damn freakishly flexible that my bones rattle around in the joints and just bang the $hit out of each other. To the point of injury. This injury is usually caused by tackling or falling down, but some people that are really flexible can get it from repetitive motion.

I have choices, clean up the broken stuff and just get it out of there (3 weeks on crutches, back to normal activity) or try to repair it (6 weeks of crutches and brace, more extensive healing, then back to normal activity). The doc says he never usually repairs anyone over 25 years old because healing capacity declines. However, he suggests repair in my case just to try to give my joint a little more stability. Freakishly flexible, people. I'm a freak. I feel old.

The reality is I really am a Nonrunner. My body was never made for running. I have too much flexibility, not enough control and my bones are beating up on each other simply from running. (do you have a picture in your mind of me flailing about? well I never thought it was that bad but apparently it is bad enough) It explains why my feet would just literally blow up at 8 miles and be so sore I could barely hobble. I am so sad right now, I can't even tell you. I sucked at running but it was mine. I made so much progress, I shocked even me, I loved the creative posts, the awesome, funny, sweet, ever-supportive bloggers, the time alone, the time with friends, the saying, "yeah, I ran a half" and meaning a half marathon, the beautiful days, the rainy days, the cold days. When I ran a half, I remembered to marvel at my strength even from the back of the pack. Now it seems like the holy grail.

I'm so sorry for the drama, I just needed to write. I really am mourning the loss of running. If I get all fixed, I will need to be a lot more careful and that probably won't involve much running at all. This isn't gut it out and make progress, this is gut it out and risk inury, go too far and need another surgery. I'm mourning the 12 miles I did with Amy and Art and the fantastic tailwind, the day we ran in an absolute snow storm, the day Cavey Girl ran a record pace and God smiled down on her chipped tooth and all, the day I ran my one and only famous Dam to Dam 20k and so many other runs that I captured on my blog. I'm mourning the lessons of being so bad and having to remain positive and everything it taught me. I'm mourning the tris I wanted to eventually do. I'm mourning the virtual races and all of you.

I know life will go on. This isn't loss of a loved one or loss of a limb or something equally as crappy. But I am going to have to find a new holy grail. I am a swimmer and I can certainly do that. But you don't meet your friends at the pool and have a great swim with chat, laughter, tears, hugs, etc. I have to find something that keeps me energized like running did. And, I have to find the creative outlet that it gave me, as well.

I have read that many people live just fine with the freakish flexibility but a chosen few have it so bad they get injured. Their best bet is to be freakishly thin and freakishly in shape. Geez. Can we rub it in any more? Those are two things I'm clearly not. And, if I were those two things, how much faster could I run?

Well, I have to move on and try to be thankful for all the stuff that remains.
I can be fixed.
I have all those sweet, strong, beautiful runs captured on the blog and can read about them any time I want
I have met some lovely people.
I AM a runner, I did a half marathon and a 20k. I rocked. I have medals.
I learned how to be positive and keep going even when I kind of suck.
I learned how to run my own race, something so valuable in every day life.
I still have lipstick.
I still have my club.
Of course, I am blessed beyond belief with husband and kids who will support whatever the new holy grail becomes.

I will still be around. I have to figure out what to do with this blog. Maybe I will continue to be Nonrunner Nancy but swimmer or cyclist extraordinaire. I have a little road in front of me with surgery, rehab, and figuring out how to be freakishly thin and freakishly in shape as well as a lot of creative energy that needs to go into something. But I do want to thank all of you for your inspiration, support, laughs, friendship. You all and running have meant so much to me. Please go easy on yourselves, be thankful every day that your body allows you to run, no matter how slow, marvel at your strength and remember to enjoy all the details.